How to Stay Involved in Your Loved One’s Care at a Nursing Home from a Distance

When a loved one enters a nursing home, it can bring a mix of relief and anxiety—especially if you live far away. You want to be present, engaged, and supportive, but geographic distance makes it harder to see them regularly, assess their condition, or advocate on their behalf.

Fortunately, staying involved from a distance is not only possible—it’s essential. Numerous studies show that family involvement in nursing home care is linked to better outcomes for residents, including improved quality of life and reduced risk of nursing home neglect or abuse. Whether you live in a different city, state, or even country, you can play a meaningful role in your loved one’s well-being. Here’s how.

1. Establish Strong Communication with Staff

Effective communication with nursing home staff is the cornerstone of long-distance caregiving. You want to be seen as a partner in your loved one’s care, not an outsider. Here’s how to build that connection:

Designate a Primary Contact

Identify the staff member responsible for coordinating care—often a nurse manager, social worker, or care coordinator. Make sure they know who you are, how to reach you, and that you’re actively involved.

Schedule Regular Updates

Set up a routine call—weekly or biweekly—with staff to review your loved one’s care plan, medications, activities, and any changes in health status. These calls ensure you’re not left out of critical updates.

Use Email for Non-Urgent Issues

Email is ideal for sending questions, requesting documentation, or confirming appointment details. It creates a written record that can be helpful if concerns arise later.

Tip: Keep a log of your communications with staff, including dates, topics discussed, and follow-up needed.

2. Stay Connected to Your Loved One

Even if you can’t visit regularly, consistent contact helps reduce feelings of loneliness and lets you monitor how they’re doing.

Schedule Virtual Visits

Most nursing homes now have tablets or computers available for resident use. Schedule video calls at least once a week, and more often if possible. Seeing your loved one gives you clues about their physical and emotional health—things you might miss over the phone.

Send Letters, Photos, and Small Gifts

Mail is a tangible reminder that someone cares. Sending family photos, drawings from grandchildren, or seasonal cards helps your loved one stay emotionally connected to family life.

Set Reminders for Important Dates

Help your loved one celebrate birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries by planning ahead. Coordinate with staff to ensure cards, cakes, or gifts are delivered on time.

Enlist Local Visitors

If you have friends or relatives nearby, ask them to drop in occasionally and report back to you. They can give you a fresh perspective and alert you to any concerns.

3. Be Informed About Their Rights and Care Plan

The more you know about your loved one’s care, the more empowered you’ll be to advocate for them—even from a distance.

Understand the Care Plan

Every nursing home resident has a personalized care plan developed by a team of nurses, therapists, and physicians. This plan covers their medical needs, nutrition, mobility, social activities, and more. Federal law requires the plan to be reviewed and updated regularly.

Request copies of the care plan and attend care plan meetings via phone or video. Ask questions about treatment goals, medications, therapy schedules, and any recent changes in behavior or health.

Learn About Residents’ Rights

Federal and state laws protect nursing home residents’ rights to dignity, respect, and proper care. The 1987 Nursing Home Reform Act mandates these protections, including the right to be informed about one’s medical condition, participate in care decisions, and voice grievances without fear of retaliation.

Familiarizing yourself with these rights allows you to intervene if your loved one isn’t receiving proper care or is being mistreated.

4. Use Technology to Monitor and Advocate

Modern technology makes it easier than ever to stay involved.

Health Portals

Some nursing homes offer online health portals where authorized family members can view medical records, prescriptions, test results, and care notes. Ask if this option is available and sign up for access.

Camera Monitoring (Where Permitted)

In some states, families are allowed to install in-room surveillance cameras, often called “granny cams,” to monitor their loved one’s care. Illinois, for example, allows residents to install video or audio monitoring devices with consent under the Authorized Electronic Monitoring in Long-Term Care Facilities Act (210 ILCS 32/1).

Be sure to understand the legal requirements, privacy concerns, and nursing home facility policies before installing any monitoring device.

5. Advocate When Problems Arise

Even from afar, you can intervene when something seems wrong. Warning signs of neglect or abuse may include:

• Sudden weight loss or unexplained injuries
• Dirty clothes or poor hygiene
• Withdrawal or depression
• Unreturned calls from staff

If you suspect your loved one is being mistreated:

Start by Documenting the Issue

Take notes, save emails, and gather any supporting evidence.

Escalate Within the Facility

Contact the nursing home administrator or director of nursing. Clearly express your concerns and request a written response or action plan.

File a Complaint

If the facility doesn’t resolve the issue, you can file a complaint with Illinois’ long-term care ombudsman or the Illinois Department of Public Health. These advocates investigate complaints and protect residents’ rights.

6. Stay Organized

Managing your loved one’s care from afar involves juggling information, contacts, and schedules. Staying organized reduces stress and helps you be a more effective advocate.

Create a Care Binder

Keep digital or physical copies of:

• Care plans
• Medication lists
• Insurance information
• Legal documents (POA, advance directives)
• Contact information for staff and specialists

Use a Shared Calendar

Coordinate visits, appointments, and video calls with other family members using Google Calendar or another shared platform.

7. Participate in Resident and Family Councils

Many nursing homes have family councils—groups of family members who meet regularly to discuss resident care and advocate for improvements. Even if you can’t attend in person, ask to join virtually or receive meeting notes.

Participating in a family council can give you insight into how the facility operates, let you connect with other families, and give you a collective voice in raising concerns.

8. Plan Regular In-Person Visits

Even if you live far away, try to schedule visits several times a year. In-person visits give you an opportunity to:

• Check your loved one’s health firsthand
• Review the facility’s cleanliness and staff behavior
• Speak with caregivers directly
• Participate in care plan meetings

When you visit, observe everything—from your loved one’s demeanor to how staff interact with residents. Take notes and follow up afterward.

9. Know When to Seek Legal Help

If your loved one suffers serious harm—such as a fall, pressure ulcer, malnutrition, or unexplained injury—you may need to speak with a nursing home abuse attorney. Legal action may be warranted if the facility failed to meet its duty of care.

Family members have the right to advocate for compensation on behalf of a vulnerable loved one, and Illinois law supports civil claims for neglect or abuse under the Nursing Home Care Act (210 ILCS 45/).

Contact the Top-Rated Illinois Nursing Home Abuse and Neglect Lawyers at John J. Malm & Associates

Distance doesn’t have to mean disengagement. With planning, communication, and advocacy, you can play an active and meaningful role in your loved one’s care—even from miles away. Your involvement can make the difference between a loved one who feels forgotten and one who feels supported and safe.

If you suspect neglect, abuse, or mistreatment of your loved one in an Illinois nursing home, our experienced Illinois nursing home abuse lawyers are here to help. At John J. Malm & Associates, we represent families in holding negligent facilities accountable and fight to protect the rights of vulnerable residents. Contact us today for a free, confidential consultation.